Monday, March 28, 2011

Lesson Learned... (or I'm trying to learn it, anyway)

Today I saw a woman bringing her baby into the doctor's office for a check up after he had been to the emergency room suffering from bronchitis.  He came in dressed properly and a little sweaty.  He was minus some socks, which his mother claimed he shed somewhere between the house and the doctor.  Mama was dressed in fleecy pajama pants, mud caked tennis shoes and slouchy shirt and coat.  Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail and obviously needed washing.  I heard her phone say "droid" when she got a text message.  Her baby's breath rattled now and again as he breathed thru the green binki in his mouth.  As I sit there observing the two of them while the mom talks to the receptionist I'm overwhelmed by the smell of... cigarette smoke.  I imagine her baby sitting innocently near his mama as he tries to breathe despite the smoke and my heart begins to break.  He is about Bo's age.  I want to run over and grab him and take him away to let him breathe clean air so he can heal... so his lungs won't have to suffer another bout of bronchitis... maybe i could save him from further scarring.
So then I have to stop.  Who am I?  Am I so different from this mama?  Fundamentally?  Or are the scars I leave simply not visible with an x-ray?  I yell at my children too much.  I'm inconsistent when what they need is a rock.  I'm impatient when they ask the same question repeatedly.  How often do I crush them with my words or my attitude?
As I sat in the waiting room praying that God would send the nurse to call us back and fighting back the tears for this baby, I had to fight them back for my own children.  It's moments like this that I have to take a hard look at me... and I'm not always pleased with what I find.  I'm learning that I'm not all that different from other moms.  We're all flawed.  I'm flawed... but I'm committed to do better... and so I will.

4 comments:

  1. What a wonderful post! We all need to take the log out of our own eye before we see the speck in another's. Great post, darlin!

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  2. Great post Dorene:) So easy for us to judge others, I have to catch myself on that all the time. My mom always used to say,"Never judge an Indian until you have walked a mile in his moccasins." We never know what is really going on in other peoples lives and will never understand why they do some of the things they do or say until we understand the whole person and all of their experiences. Oh, but for the grace of God there go I.

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  3. I agree with both of these ladies. Great post!

    That lady might be doing real good with the things she has been through in her life. Has she been abused? Was she raised on welfare? Who knows... Only God. That is where we need to pray for them and to love them with a heart filled with Jesus.

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  4. Thank you so much for your comments. It is a bitter pill to swallow when all I want to do is say, "At least I don't do THAT!" I want so much to be humble and grateful.

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