Harder Than I Thought

"Mom, will you braid my hair?"
"Sure, honey."
And as I'm braiding, I'm thinkin', "Your days are numbered, mama."

My beautiful daughter, my first born, turned eighteen yesterday.  Like most moms, I remember the day she was born vividly.  They placed her in my arms and I just kept telling my mom, "Mom, I have a baby!"  I was so shocked!  Ha!
Never did I think I could love so deeply!  I found this whole new capacity inside me and it was bigger than I thought possible.  She was amazing.  Plain and simple, she became my world.  For eight years, she was our only child. 
Aside from a bout of terrible twos, she was, literally, the perfect child.  Oh, I know everyone says that about their kids, but Janie is different.  Always has been.  She's a gift from God and there's no mistaking it.  Why He entrusted us with someone clearly so precious to Him, I will never know.  We were bound to mess it up, after all.  I suppose, in the end, He knew that we needed her. 
Janie has taught me, on more than one occasion, to be a better person.  She makes me think.  She opens up her soul so easily and shares it so willingly... and that's where God is.  I hope that when I grow up, I get to be just like her.
Yeah, my days are numbered.  Not too long now and she'll be heading out on her own and building her life.  What I wouldn't give to turn back the clock and relive some of those amazing days when she was little again.  That's not how it works, tho, and, after all, I get to marvel at the woman she has become.  It's not without a tear and more than an ounce of regret, but God helped us raise a true contribution!  I could never take credit for who she is, I do so hope, tho, for many more years to come!
I love you, angel baby! xxoo