As Bad as it Gets

As bad as it gets.  I just happened across a link on Shelter from the Storm's Facebook page.  I didn't feel, after listening to the content that I could share it.  It was as bad as it gets.  It was a 911 call from a child requesting the police as the child's mama was being beaten in the background by her husband.  I think about the situations where no one knows.  I think about the silent ways that people are abused and no one hears... until it's too late.  Why?  Why does she not see what is directly in front of her?  I'm sure she must think it can't possibly be as bad as everyone thinks it is, right?  "These types of things don't happen to me," she reasons.  And yet they do.  What goes thru the mind of a man who beats a woman... mentally or physically?  Do they think that they are not as bad as they truly are??  What leads them to be this person?  What causes them to be loving one minute and terrifying the next?  How do they convince her to go along with it?
Be aware.  You think it will never happen in your world.  It's just something that happens on the news... in someone else's circle.... until it does happen to you.  Don't turn a blind eye.  When do words turn to violence.  Do you know?  When will it be too late?
I still shake my head sometimes trying to clear the fog.  After three long years it is still inconceivable that she is gone.  It doesn't make sense.  I wonder if it ever will.  In some ways I hope it doesn't.  Somehow it gives me hope.  Hope that I will get to sit and laugh with her again.

My Lisa: Year Two

kitchen dancing with lisa

They said it would get easier.  Not so.  I only miss her more.  It's like trying to hold water in your hands.... she's gone.  I can't get her back.  Wish I were as positive as last year.  Missing my darling friend.  The feel of her hair, her hand in mine... her laugh... her smile.  Sleep sweet, my love.  Missing you.

Coffee With Grandpa

I'm a silly and sentimental girl, but so many things mean so much to me.  Sometimes I hang on to silly things because they belonged to someone I love.  The idea that that person touched the item and used it, even in the most casual way, means the world to me.  It puts them in my life again and again and I love that comforting reminder of them and their impact in my life.
When my mother-in-law passed away I took from the pile of discarded household items a clear glass hand soap dispenser.  She had put some little rocks in it and a sprig of silk flowers to pretty it up.  It was a silly thing but it so reminded me of her.... or the popcorn popper that we finally threw away last month that belonged to my grandmother who passed away more than twenty years ago!  It was decrepit and far past it's prime, but it still worked!  When my best friend passed away, I realized that she was everywhere in my house.  Things she'd touched, pictures on the fridge, things she'd given me... moments we shared were everywhere.  I love that.

My new percolator and a polish pottery mug reminding me of the two people I miss the most in life

This Christmas I got a gift that brought tears to my eyes and still does.  I got a stainless steel percolator with a clear "glass" top.  I got coffee with Grandpa.
When I was little, I would spend the night at my grandparents house on occasion.  Grandma would tuck me in to her bed all covered in pink satin blankets like a princess.  In the morning, I would wake up to hear my Grandpa's deep morning voice and smell the coffee perking just on the other side of the bedroom door.  Grandma would be making breakfast and Grandpa would be sitting at the table in his undershirt waiting for the coffee to be ready and talking to Grandma.  I would crawl out of bed and sit with him and watch the coffee perk up thru the glass top on the percolator and it was such a comforting sound and smell.  Grandma would serve us kids orange juice and Alpha Bits for breakfast.  The rule was that you had to drink your juice first because Grandma couldn't stand the idea of you tasting the sourness of the orange juice after eating the "sweet" cereal!

Grandpa and me at Christmas time

My Grandpa was wonderful to us kids.  He was always happy and never got after us about anything.  I remember going in his room first thing in the morning (before he was even awake!) and my brother and I would run and jump on his bed loudly to wake him up.  Even then, he didn't raise his voice, but treated it as if it were the best alarm clock idea he'd ever seen or heard!  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him and miss him greatly, but now, every morning, I get to have coffee with him.  I'm so grateful for the time we shared and the memories I get to keep until I see him again.

Our Christmas Treats: Recipe One: Chocolate-Peanut Butter Balls

This week I'm going to start a series of posts with recipes for some of our favorite Christmas Treats and the stories behind them.  In that way, I hope that we can share a little of our home with you during the holiday season.

Today's treat is...

Chocolate-Peanut Butter Balls

Peanut butter balls are one of the foods that my best friend always said she could never live without and so it was always among any gifts she received from me each year!  Peanut butter was her biggest food love in life and I never make them without thinking of her.  What a treasure to find her in even the little everyday things!  Read about my girl in other posts I've published.  She was an amazing friend and I'm blessed to have known her even in the smallest way.

1c. peanut butter
1/4 cup butter, softened
2c. crisp rice cereal
1c. powdered sugar
1pkg (14 ounces) chocolate candy coating (almond bark)
2T vegetable shortening

In a large bowl, combine peanut butter and butter and sugar.  Add the cereal, mixing until evenly combined.  Form into balls and set on waxed paper.
Melt the almond bark and shortening together for about 2 minutes in the microwave (or with a double boiler on the stovetop).  Dip each peanut butter ball into the chocolate mixture and return it to the waxed paper to cool and set up.

Happy Birthday!

So, today is our Lisa's birthday!  We called an impromptu holiday and everyone stayed home.  Lisa had a bicycle that she loved to ride and she loved to walk or run on the beach.  This morning the kids went for a bike ride then we came home to watch The Sound of Music... her all-time favorite show with a bowl full of popcorn.  Mitchell has been working all day to make some sort of sculpture out of play dough in her honor. :)  I baked an apple pie.  I admit that I don't know her favorite choice for dessert but I know she liked apple pie so that's what I've done.  It turned out great and we ate it for dinner!  She had a magnet on her fridge saying something about pie actually being fruit so it seemed appropriate for tonight! :)
It is a family tradition to have a "singing candle" for every birthday.  On her last birthday I gave her one of her own since her ex-husband seemed to have gotten the other one in the divorce!

It was a challenge to keep our chin up today but she loved her birthday so much that being sad today, of all days just wasn't an option.  We miss her so but are so grateful for the love that she gave to us while she was with us.  We have so many great memories of birthday's past that they have definitely sustained us today!  Making it special for her was the best part.  The line she put under her photo on Facebook is now widely used among her friends and reads like this: live, laugh, love, life is too short for anything less.
Make it a great day!

The New Normal

I know you've heard about my friend, Lisa. She was killed on September 11 in a brutal and terrible way. Slowly but surely we are learning how to live again. We're trying to get back in the "groove" of life when everything seems to have changed so much.
I've learned so many great things and met and reconnected with so many wonderful friends during this tragedy. As hard as it's been I can look back now and realize that God was preparing me for what I'm sure He knew was inevitable. Scripture that didn't seem to make sense at the time but was clearly preparing me for the stressful time ahead.
God placed David in our lives. He protected Lisa to the best of his ability and now protects our Elizabeth. He also gave us Sarah, our legal "interpreter". Sarah keeps me steady when all I want to do is freak out. Tammie. Because we were both so close to Lisa I can say things to her that she understands like no one else could. I'm grateful for my new friend, Leslie. Lisa wanted us to meet and so now we have. It's like her gift to me... someone with a sense of humor as off course as mine! :)
It's amazing to me how God takes care of every little thing. How He places people in our lives and how He anxiously awaits me to allow Him to give comfort in my time of need.
So now we are on to the new normal, as my friend Elaine puts it. Realizing more and more the impact Lisa had on our lives and being thankful for it. The lesson we have learned is that life is short and we only have today to make our impact on people. There were 400+ people at my Lisa's memorial. That's the kind of impact that I want to have. What kind of legacy do you want to leave? Today is the day. Tomorrow may never come.