As Bad as it Gets

As bad as it gets.  I just happened across a link on Shelter from the Storm's Facebook page.  I didn't feel, after listening to the content that I could share it.  It was as bad as it gets.  It was a 911 call from a child requesting the police as the child's mama was being beaten in the background by her husband.  I think about the situations where no one knows.  I think about the silent ways that people are abused and no one hears... until it's too late.  Why?  Why does she not see what is directly in front of her?  I'm sure she must think it can't possibly be as bad as everyone thinks it is, right?  "These types of things don't happen to me," she reasons.  And yet they do.  What goes thru the mind of a man who beats a woman... mentally or physically?  Do they think that they are not as bad as they truly are??  What leads them to be this person?  What causes them to be loving one minute and terrifying the next?  How do they convince her to go along with it?
Be aware.  You think it will never happen in your world.  It's just something that happens on the news... in someone else's circle.... until it does happen to you.  Don't turn a blind eye.  When do words turn to violence.  Do you know?  When will it be too late?
I still shake my head sometimes trying to clear the fog.  After three long years it is still inconceivable that she is gone.  It doesn't make sense.  I wonder if it ever will.  In some ways I hope it doesn't.  Somehow it gives me hope.  Hope that I will get to sit and laugh with her again.

Someday... maybe...

And the farm and life would look something like this….

Beef, chicken and pork grown here.  Minus hormones and genetically modified feed, of course!  There will be a hen house and a small barn for the cow, a horse and a small shelter for two pigs.  There’ll be a dog and, I don’t wanna know how many cats!

There will be a store house… a cellar, if you will, with walls lined with shelves of canning jars and supplies, fresh and canned fruit and vegetables and freezers containing meats and other foods for the fall and winter months.  There will be a couple of small homes with porches dotted with pots overflowing with flowers of every color and shade.  Attached to the side of one little abode is a greenhouse which can be accessed from the inside of the house or the outside.  The greenhouse is large and inside you’ll find flowers and fresh vegetables and herbs ready for the picking for tonight’s dinner.  Attached to the other house is a dog yard, a kennel and several sweet yapping puppies ready to distribute joy to whoever passes by.  There is a main house.  It is simple and not too large but full of laughter and love of life.  We have a small yard but big enough to run and play.  Down another path but close to the house there is a large garden just finishing up its summer occupation of growing food for the people who live on the farm.  The orchard is nearby where children are climbing the trees and stealing cherries and apples and fall pears.  There are bushel baskets dotted here and there.  Half full to bursting and ready to be taken to the storehouse to be canned, stored, frozen, prepared for jams and jellies.

There are outbuildings… garages and machine sheds storing old cars, mowers, tillers and snowplows.  The tools are organized and the garages are heated to be comfortable even on the coldest of days.  It’s well lit to almost seem as if the sun is shining.  There are lifts and every necessity for maintaining the vehicles that reside on the property.  Somewhere near the machine sheds is another inconspicuous looking building.  Big barn doors grace the front of the building and a chimney exits the roof.  Upon opening the doors you’ll find a blacksmith’s work place.  Anvils and hammers, stock metal and even a small laser cutter.  Center stage is a gas forge.  The smell is of hot metal shavings that have been grinded off the art projects hanging from the walls and propped against shelves throughout the little shed.  On almost any weekend day you’ll find those doors open for several hours while the fire in the forge is kept hot to make repairs on tools, to give demonstrations to local homeschoolers and to just simply create.

Back in the main farmhouse the kitchen is large, consuming nearly half of the downstairs square footage.  In it resides a large gas stove with a pot filler and large sinks for rinsing, washing and canning.  To one side, the old farm table stands.  There are school books piled up here and there and eraser dust on the benches.  The names of dear ones are carved here and there all over the table.  Fresh baked bread is cooling on the counter as is a fresh batch of homemade strawberry jam.  In the tiny library, an old cat is nestled in on the ancient leather ottoman taking a nap in a ray of sunshine.  There are some books here and there laid open and scattered on table tops.  It is a quiet room with shelves that stretch to the ceiling full of books new and old on almost any subject you would hope for.  A set of encyclopedias line the shelves for easy access and a small secretary sits in the corner ready for use.

Across the hall is the laundry.  Out the door is the line where sheets and towels float gently on the breeze promising to bring the fragrance of the wind indoors for many days to come.  Everyone is about being industrious or taking a break from their day's work.  Tonight is dinner with our families at the main house.  We’ll spend this evening planning and preparing for our coming guests at Thanksgiving.  There is a bunk house located just off the barn and come November it will be full to bursting with cousins telling ghosts stories and staying up all hours of the night!  The trees that frame the farm have been planted specifically for Thanksgiving weekend… they are our Christmas trees.

The family dinners at the main house are always loud and loving.  The table is loaded with more food than even our large family can eat and everyone heads home with leftovers.  We love that their homes are just down the path!  I go out as the stars gather for their nightly dance and collect eggs.  Overwhelmed by God’s grace, mercy and provision, I stop and raise my hands to the sky glorying in the way the breeze seems to flow through my very soul.  It’s just what we wanted, God!  It’s everything we’ve hoped for and yet so much more!  To share this life with our loved ones and to soak up each moment with them.  We do so appreciate the opportunity that you’ve given us and we hope that each day we will embrace that and show each other love and allow each other failures because God, we can do no less than what you have done for us.

Amen.   

There's a Laptop Under My Table

There's a laptop under my table, it's true.  It was left there by the two little boys who made the tent.  They snuggled under it, as brothers sometimes do, to watch a movie together.  There are blankets left over from the tent, folded now, and laid neatly across the back of a chair--not put away but, waiting there, just in case another tent needs to be built.
There are sippy cups and bottles adorning the bottom of the sink and Valentine treats lining the countertops.  A thick layer of dust covers the piano top where at least a dozen family photos peek from behind one another reminding us of loved ones here and gone.  There's a lego guy stuck in that piano and half a dozen science boards tucked in behind it.  There are clothes on the stairs waiting to be put away and a stack of miniature clothing to be washed.
There are coffee, yogurt and cocoa stains on nearly every available surface--the latest one happened when the baby reached up to hug me and knocked my cup sideways!
Dotted around the house are little love notes, Bible verses and books on everything from Spiderman to parenting to quilting and beyond.  Vegetable seeds and pots sit atop the table waiting to be started.  A Bible lays open where our oldest boy last finished reading... Jonah and the whale.
Sucker sticks and Valentines, candy wrappers and Star Wars guys, boots, coats, hats and helmets.
At the end of the day, I'm picking up.  I'm putting things away where they belong--oh, but not everything!  Never!!  You see, the sucker stick reminds me of a little boy who curled up in bed with me but didn't want to leave the comfort he found there.  The Bible reminds me of a little guy who, although is often sidetracked, strives after God.  Headphones and glue sticks, hair spray and soda cans are all reminders of the "artist in residence".  Baby dolls tucked in under a blanket, a big fat cat asleep in the rocker.  Names carved into the table and a myriad of artifacts and tomes remind me that I'm home.  My family lives here!  What joy! 
Yeah, I put away a lot of things but, i would never choose to put it all away.  I love the evidence of a life lived and a life lived fully. 
So, yes, there's still a laptop under my table--just in case!  Just in case two brothers want to love being together again. 
Someone will clean my house when I'm gone.  Maybe then it will all get put away.  Until then, I'm happy with all of the reminders that my family is bigger to me than a well cleaned home.

Harder Than I Thought

"Mom, will you braid my hair?"
"Sure, honey."
And as I'm braiding, I'm thinkin', "Your days are numbered, mama."

My beautiful daughter, my first born, turned eighteen yesterday.  Like most moms, I remember the day she was born vividly.  They placed her in my arms and I just kept telling my mom, "Mom, I have a baby!"  I was so shocked!  Ha!
Never did I think I could love so deeply!  I found this whole new capacity inside me and it was bigger than I thought possible.  She was amazing.  Plain and simple, she became my world.  For eight years, she was our only child. 
Aside from a bout of terrible twos, she was, literally, the perfect child.  Oh, I know everyone says that about their kids, but Janie is different.  Always has been.  She's a gift from God and there's no mistaking it.  Why He entrusted us with someone clearly so precious to Him, I will never know.  We were bound to mess it up, after all.  I suppose, in the end, He knew that we needed her. 
Janie has taught me, on more than one occasion, to be a better person.  She makes me think.  She opens up her soul so easily and shares it so willingly... and that's where God is.  I hope that when I grow up, I get to be just like her.
Yeah, my days are numbered.  Not too long now and she'll be heading out on her own and building her life.  What I wouldn't give to turn back the clock and relive some of those amazing days when she was little again.  That's not how it works, tho, and, after all, I get to marvel at the woman she has become.  It's not without a tear and more than an ounce of regret, but God helped us raise a true contribution!  I could never take credit for who she is, I do so hope, tho, for many more years to come!
I love you, angel baby! xxoo

Lesson Learned... (or I'm trying to learn it, anyway)

Today I saw a woman bringing her baby into the doctor's office for a check up after he had been to the emergency room suffering from bronchitis.  He came in dressed properly and a little sweaty.  He was minus some socks, which his mother claimed he shed somewhere between the house and the doctor.  Mama was dressed in fleecy pajama pants, mud caked tennis shoes and slouchy shirt and coat.  Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail and obviously needed washing.  I heard her phone say "droid" when she got a text message.  Her baby's breath rattled now and again as he breathed thru the green binki in his mouth.  As I sit there observing the two of them while the mom talks to the receptionist I'm overwhelmed by the smell of... cigarette smoke.  I imagine her baby sitting innocently near his mama as he tries to breathe despite the smoke and my heart begins to break.  He is about Bo's age.  I want to run over and grab him and take him away to let him breathe clean air so he can heal... so his lungs won't have to suffer another bout of bronchitis... maybe i could save him from further scarring.
So then I have to stop.  Who am I?  Am I so different from this mama?  Fundamentally?  Or are the scars I leave simply not visible with an x-ray?  I yell at my children too much.  I'm inconsistent when what they need is a rock.  I'm impatient when they ask the same question repeatedly.  How often do I crush them with my words or my attitude?
As I sat in the waiting room praying that God would send the nurse to call us back and fighting back the tears for this baby, I had to fight them back for my own children.  It's moments like this that I have to take a hard look at me... and I'm not always pleased with what I find.  I'm learning that I'm not all that different from other moms.  We're all flawed.  I'm flawed... but I'm committed to do better... and so I will.

A Mom's Life

"When a servant comes in from plowing or taking care of sheep, he doesn't just sit down and eat.  He must first prepare his master's meal and serve him his supper before eating his own.  And the servant is not even thanked, because he is merely doing what he is supposed to do.  In the same way, when you obey me you should say, 'We are not worthy of praise.  We are servants who have simply done our duty.'"  Luke 17:7-10

my calling

If that doesn't describe a mother's life to a "T"!  It certainly describes my evenings!  After dinner, there are dishes and baths and a shower that lasts about five minutes (I'll shave my legs when the kids are grown).  Laying out clothes, checking the calendar... the list is endless.  What I want to do (and I do at least half the time) is just sit down.  Sitting down means that baths probably won't get done, I'll be searching for socks in the morning and I'll be completely surprised that I have an early morning appointment!
The attitude in this scripture convicts and inspires me.  The servant serves without thought of "what about me".  The servant isn't disappointed when his spouse doesn't remark about a job well done.  He simply does what he needs to do when he needs to do it because it is his calling.
As a mother and a wife, I am called to care for my family and home in the way of the Proverbs woman (Proverbs 31: 10-31).  Although I may never reach her status as the ideal, I do believe that my calling is to do the work without thought of praise, recognition, honor or reward.  As a mom, I am simply doing my duty because I have been blessed enough to be called by God to do so.

Darn! Busted Again!

I've been battling Mitchell all day.  "Do your chores!"  "Get along!"  "Do your schoolwork!"  Sigh.  Finally I decided that I would leave it alone.  His Dad could deal with his laziness when he got home... not much of an anniversary gift but it hasn't been great for me, either!

mitch... ready for anything!

So here I sit in judgment when Mitchell pipes up and says, "Mom, what's your temptation?"  Choosing honesty over nobility I said, "Feeling sorry for myself and complaining."  "Oh," he says.  "Mine is messing around and playing when I should be working."
Shoot.  He got me.  We all struggle with something, don't we?  Where did my compassion go today?  When did I start yelling instead of guiding and teaching?  As difficult as Mitch can be, there is no denying that God speaks thru him straight to my heart. 
I have been sufficiently humbled.

Nice Man. Think I'll Keep Him.

Well, it's official!  Today I have been married to Joseph for 19 years!  Long time in today's world.  We met through a mutual friend and a few months later we started dating.  We've officially been a couple for about 21 years!  That's a long time to put up with someone, I suppose.  The question was posed, "how do we do it?"  The answer is a lot of hard work and the grace of God.  There's a huge amount of forgiveness and humility involved in marriage, I think.  You soon realize that you're not "all that" and that life is short... yeah, even after nineteen years I can say that life is short.  I've come up with a few bits of wisdom that apply to my marriage...

• I am responsible for my own behavior even if my spouse is being, shall we say, less than ideal.
• As soon as I start saying, "what about me?", I've doomed my marriage.  We go through seasons.  Sometimes it's about you, sometimes it isn't.  Grow up and serve.
• Guard yourselves against intruders at all costs!  Don't EVER let anyone come between you and your spouse.
• He's the leader, but she at least wants to know that she's been heard and considered.
• Stay interesting.  Who are you aside from wife and mother, husband and dad?
• Stop taking each other for granted.  You are both here to serve each other all the time, not just when it's convenient or when you feel like it, or when you think your spouse finally has done something to deserve it.
• Love is a choice... not a feeling.  Choose to love your spouse.  You're a big girl, you can do it!

So, because we've been married for 19 years and I have all of these great pearls of wisdom that means Joe and I have it down.... right??  bahahahahahahahaha!  Oh, man, that's funny!  Yeah, funny but not likely.  We pray and we rely on Biblical training.  Without the training we'd be doomed for sure.  If you haven't participated in a marriage seminar or had biblical marriage counseling, I'd encourage you to do that---even if everything is going great in your marriage.  Satan is roaming about the earth like a hungry lion seeking to devour whom he may. (1Peter 5:8)  Don't let your marriage be the "weak" or "sickly" or "young" one that that hungry lion devours.  And remember, "anger gives the devil a mighty foot hold." (Ephesians 4:26-27)  Besides that, anger is arrogant.
There's an enemy to our happy homes out there and he's dying to get in.  Guard yourselves.  Believe that the next home he poisons could easily be yours and fortify your marriage at all costs.  You will never be sorry you did.  And neither will your kids.

Coffee With Grandpa

I'm a silly and sentimental girl, but so many things mean so much to me.  Sometimes I hang on to silly things because they belonged to someone I love.  The idea that that person touched the item and used it, even in the most casual way, means the world to me.  It puts them in my life again and again and I love that comforting reminder of them and their impact in my life.
When my mother-in-law passed away I took from the pile of discarded household items a clear glass hand soap dispenser.  She had put some little rocks in it and a sprig of silk flowers to pretty it up.  It was a silly thing but it so reminded me of her.... or the popcorn popper that we finally threw away last month that belonged to my grandmother who passed away more than twenty years ago!  It was decrepit and far past it's prime, but it still worked!  When my best friend passed away, I realized that she was everywhere in my house.  Things she'd touched, pictures on the fridge, things she'd given me... moments we shared were everywhere.  I love that.

My new percolator and a polish pottery mug reminding me of the two people I miss the most in life

This Christmas I got a gift that brought tears to my eyes and still does.  I got a stainless steel percolator with a clear "glass" top.  I got coffee with Grandpa.
When I was little, I would spend the night at my grandparents house on occasion.  Grandma would tuck me in to her bed all covered in pink satin blankets like a princess.  In the morning, I would wake up to hear my Grandpa's deep morning voice and smell the coffee perking just on the other side of the bedroom door.  Grandma would be making breakfast and Grandpa would be sitting at the table in his undershirt waiting for the coffee to be ready and talking to Grandma.  I would crawl out of bed and sit with him and watch the coffee perk up thru the glass top on the percolator and it was such a comforting sound and smell.  Grandma would serve us kids orange juice and Alpha Bits for breakfast.  The rule was that you had to drink your juice first because Grandma couldn't stand the idea of you tasting the sourness of the orange juice after eating the "sweet" cereal!

Grandpa and me at Christmas time

My Grandpa was wonderful to us kids.  He was always happy and never got after us about anything.  I remember going in his room first thing in the morning (before he was even awake!) and my brother and I would run and jump on his bed loudly to wake him up.  Even then, he didn't raise his voice, but treated it as if it were the best alarm clock idea he'd ever seen or heard!  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him and miss him greatly, but now, every morning, I get to have coffee with him.  I'm so grateful for the time we shared and the memories I get to keep until I see him again.

Our Christmas Treats: Recipe Four: Homemade Almond Roca

One of my mother-in-law's favorite Christmas treats was Almond Roca.  Whenever Christmas rolls around we are always sure to pick up a traditional pink can of the gold foil wrapped treats and think of our sweet memories of her.  This recipe is so authentic for me that it conjures up those same memories.  Truthfully, it always feels like she's in the room and sharing a moment with me.  If you click on the "mother-in-law" link above, you'll learn more about this amazing woman.
I found this recipe in "Miserly Meals" by Jonni McCoy.  (It's interesting to note that a third cup serving of this is only .32 cents!)  I've only made this recipe once so it's written here almost exactly as it is in the cookbook, but I have made a few adaptations for our own family's tastes.

Fuzzy... can't wait to get a new camera!

Homemade Almond Roca

1/2 cup butter
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
4 oz (1/4 cup) slivered almonds
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup chocolate chips, divided
1/4 cup finely chopped pecans

Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.
Melt the butter over medium heat in a saucepan.  Add the brown sugar and stir bringing the mixture to a boil.  Heat to a hard crack stage (about 310 degrees) then remove from the heat and add the almonds.  Stir to mix and pour the mixture onto the parchment paper and spread it out evenly.  While the candy is still hot, sprinkle 1/2 cup of the chocolate chips over the candy.  The heat from the candy melts the chocolate and makes it easy to spread it over the candy with a knife.  Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of the pecans over the melted chocolate and let the candy cool completely.
You can leave it simply like this, or melt the rest of the chocolate in the microwave, turn the cooled candy over and spread the melted chocolate on the opposite side and sprinkle the rest of the pecans on top of that.
Whichever you choose to do, once it is completely cooled, break it up into smaller pieces.

Parenting Pearls

All of my life I have worked with kids.  From babysitting to preschool teacher to being the owner of a child care center.  Most of the time my clients would come to me for parenting advice.  The truth is, I know a lot... on paper!  Putting Parenting Pearls into practice, and into practice consistently, is far harder than giving the advice that's for sure!  As the mom of four kids that have personalities that run the gamut, I've picked up a few things here and there... some on my own, but a lot from some amazing friends and family.  Hope one or two inspire you and I hope you add some of your own!

Mitch building a snowman before school

• You are responsible for your own behavior regardless of anyone else.  Just because your sister is being a snotty pants doesn't make it ok for you to be snotty pants, too.
• My friend Stacie is a mother of six and she says that it is her job to work her way out of a job.  I love that!  It is my job to train my children to eventually not need me to do it all for them anymore.
• Kids will reach as high as you set the bar.  If you don't expect much, you won't get much.
• I'm convinced that every child needs a schedule.  It's that consistency thing.  Every single one of them, regardless of personality does better on a schedule and the more difficult they are, the more they need the schedule.
• I read in a book once that getting up after the children is a form of suicide.  A bit bold but the point is well taken!  My sister gets up early every morning so she can have that time all to herself before her family needs to be up and getting ready for the day.  It's a time for her to read the paper and drink coffee in utter silence!  What bliss!
• I hate folding laundry.  Now that we live in a teeny tiny house, leaving piles of clean laundry isn't an option.  That's a good thing, I know, but I still hate to fold laundry.  Worse than that, I hate putting it away.  Well, I've solved part of that problem and, at the suggestion of a great friend, I'm on the verge of solving the rest of it!  I've decided it's time that my big boys learn to fold their own laundry.  I'm going to get a small laundry basket for each child and put their unfolded laundry in it.  I'll teach my boys how to fold the laundry and then they can take their basket upstairs and put the clothes in the drawers.  My friend Stacie pointed out that since their drawers get ransacked daily, why are we putting in all the effort to fold the clothes just to have them unfolded again??  Indeed!  With this new way of doing things, my boys will learn to fold their own laundry and maybe they'll not ransack their drawers anymore... and if they do, well, then they've wasted their time and not mine.
• School is about learning... not how fast we can get things done and not how much we can get done.  When we start checking things off our list or we're doing things just to get it over with then we know we're not doing it for the right reason.  If we focus on the learning, school becomes more fun and relaxed and we actually LEARN! ... and we realize we have time for family, friends and the fun stuff in life! 
• Families are a team.  My kids can tell you this.  They don't always emulate it, but they know the words!  Everyone pitches in to do their part and some days they pitch in to do someone else's part as well.  For this reason, we don't do allowances for chores in our home.  The work we do at home we do for our family and for ourselves.  It is our gift and our responsibility to care for our home, our things and other family members because that's what families do, not because we're getting paid to do so. 
• I have been so tired of hearing my kids bicker!  Mostly it's the 17yr old and the 9yr old!  When they get going, it makes life a near living hell in this house!  I read on another blog about a mom who makes her kids sit on the floor, hold hands and sing kum ba yah when they choose to bicker with one another so I thought I'd give it a try.  The first time I sat them down they thought it was really strange.  I sang with them like everyone was enjoying a moment with God.  Then, before they got up, I let them know that every time I hear them bicker with one another they would have to do this... and, God forbid we were in a store or other public place when they decided to be nasty with each other!  They got the picture.  Mitch immediately said, "Janie, let's only bicker upstairs where Mom can't hear us!"  Glory be and Hallelujah!  Fine by me!  They have only had to sing kum ba yah one more time since!  They've decided that bickering just isn't worth it.  Best parenting advice I've gleaned in a great deal of time!!
• Say yes more than no and when you feel the urge to say no, ask yourself why.  I tend to say no a lot.  All day long I'm bombarded with questions... "Can we go to the park?" "Do you want to play a board game?" "Can I be done now?"... and the list goes on ...  My immediate answer is either no or we'll see--which is just my way of not committing.  My kids deserve an answer and one that is thought out rather than spewed in a reactionary way.
• When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.  I know that I need to take time for myself.  To every now and then take a walk or go out to dinner with my husband, sans kids.  I know that naps are an important weekend event for me.  Taking these times makes me a happier mom who is more willing and able to share that joy with my family.

Speaking of weekend naps.... my husband is on vacation this week and it sounds like the baby is getting ready for his morning nap!  Mama's happy!

Circus Peanuts in the Freezer

Four years ago we spent our first holiday season without my mother-in-law, Donna.  She was a fantastic grandmother and the best mother-in-law a girl could dream for!  She died from emphysema.  The cruel joke of her generation... that smoking is good for you... promoted as a "healthy" habit for someone prone to anxiety and stress as Donna was.  Whenever my children see someone smoking or even hear the word "cigarette" they think of their grandma and how she died.
Donna was an amazing woman who was very artistic.  She drew, painted, sewed, crocheted, and crafted all kinds of things.  She loved involving her grandkids in anything she was doing and her house was set up so that the kids could rule when they were visiting.  She had games and paints, crayons and lots of extra paper.  She'd purchase craft kits and do them with the kids and then there was her garden.  She'd let the kids water and dig.  Her favorite word with her grankids was "yes!".  They all remember cinnamon toast cut into triangles... standard fare at grandma's house... and to this day cinnamon toast just wouldn't be the same if it isn't cut just so.
Every Halloween she kept the trick-or-treat candy in the freezer with the theory being that if it's frozen it will take longer to eat and perhaps it will last longer!  One of her favorites was Circus Peanuts, which we currently have in our freezer... reminding me whenever I open it about how much I miss her.
She was equally as good to us... her kids.  There was never any such things as "adopted", "step child", or "in-law" with her.  She treated everyone as if they had always belonged to her.  I miss being able to call her up to tell her something funny that the kids did or said and hearing her laugh on the other end of the line.
Two months before she died and one month before I knew she was ill (yep, somehow she managed to keep it from us) I wrote an entry in my journal titled, "Ten things I appreciate about you".  I made a list out for each of my parents and my husband's parents.  It was my intention to print it out and frame it and give it to her for Christmas that year.  She would've loved it but she probably would've kept it in her room as she was never one to want to bring attention to herself.  Maybe this will give you a better idea of who this remarkable woman was...

donna

What I Appreciate About You...

Donna

1. Positive attitude

2. Devotion to her grandchildren

3. Her artistic talent

4. Her ability to forgive

5. The thoughtfulness she puts into every gift

6. The joy she receives from her sons

7. Her giving nature

8. The hard knocks she took in life are lessons for me to help direct and protect my kids

9. Her sharp mind

10. Her ability to see right through me and love me anyway